Atomic RoadRunners | Andrew Flynn’s High-Energy Fantasy Baseball

The schedule makers once again have flunked the big assignment - Opening Day.

For example, the following teams have domes:

• Toronto Blue Jays
• Tampa Rays
• Arizona Diamondbacks
• Milwaukee Brewers
• Houston Astros

And these teams are considered “warm climate”:

• Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
• Texas Rangers

Which of course makes sense.  Except they’re all opening the season ON THE ROAD.

So, one hour into Opening Day, here are the box scores:

• Arizona at Cincinnati (Delay)
• Milwaukee at Chicago Cubs (Delay)
• Toronto at New York Yankees (Postponed)

I understand that Cincinnati, as the oldest franchise, wants to open the season at home.  But Marge Schott is dead, and the Reds aren’t that special any longer, now that half the league is over 100 seasons old.

And I get the concept of not having both teams of a metro area be at home at the same time, so Chicago, Bay Area, Los Angeles, and New York has to have one of their teams on the road.

Here’s how it should have been (minimal changes over the existing schedule):

National League:

• Move the Arizona-Cincinnati series to Arizona, which has a dome (and it’s 84 degrees).
• Move the Brewers-Cubs series to Milwaukee, which also has a dome.  They’re division rivals, so this is easily swapped with a series in June/July.
• You have two NL Central vs. NL West series.  Simply swapping the participants would help.  Instead of Astros at Padres and Rockies at Cardinals, make it Rockies at Astros (warm, dome), and Cardinals at Padres (warm).  St. Louis’s weather today might not be bad, but I’m betting San Diego’s is better.
• Why do the Nationals open the season at their park for one game, and then travel to Philadelphia.  At least have Philadelphia come down - it’s cherry blossom time, and it’s probably a few degrees warmer in DC.
• Rounding out the NL, Giants at Dodgers, Pirates at Braves, and Mets at Florida remain unchanged

American League:

• Boston is in Oakland for the continuation of their series in Tokyo.  They start tomorrow.  Since the Giants are on the road in LA, this works.
• While they’re underway in Detroit, Kansas City might be slightly warmer (or it could be snowing - that’s a crap-shoot)
• Move the Rays-Orioles series to Tampa. Again, division rivals, and Baltimore is nicer in the summer, though not according to The Wire.
• Texas at Seattle isn’t the best use of resources, but it’ll do.

After that, it’s more complicated.

Three teams that share markets are locked into their fate:

• Chicago White Sox must host a game with the Cubs on the road.
• Los Angeles Angles must be on the road, with the Dodgers at home.
• New York Yankees must host a game with the Mets on the road.

Meanwhile, it begs the issue but one of these domed teams will likely NOT be able to open at home:

• Minnesota Twins
• Toronto Blue Jays

So, we have six remaining teams.  The Angels could play at New York, instead of Minnesota.  Cleveland could play at either Minnesota or Toronto, with the other team visiting Chicago.

Ok, the rain delays are over, and it’s time for some baseball.  I’m glad I solved absolutely nothing whatsoever.

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